Day 28 of the wait

So after driving myself crazy on Monday and crying for 3o minutes... I'm still waiting!! Deric kindly reminded me that it doesn't mean I only have this month. We just keep swimming, swimming, until it happens. He is right, but it's hard when you want it so bad. I'm really hard on myself. Satan keeps filling my mind with guilt and jealousy. All these babies everywhere! I even read an article that says if you drink coffee, even decaf, it can lead to miscarriages. Now I'm thinking, "Oh great! It was the coffee!" I really need to keep myself busy that way my mind doesn't think these things. It's been the hardest 7 months of my life!

Moving on.. last month I was 29 days so I'm waiting until Friday or Saturday! I keep having weird dreams about all of this. Here's the latest: Last night I was in Target trying to find the pregnancy tests. I ran up and down every aisle searching. I was yelling and throwing up! 

It was truly a crazy dream that lasted a long time. 

Thanks for those of you who are praying for me. I need it!