Decisions

I'm having to make a VERY hard decision. I don't want to make it. I've actually been losing sleep and can't think about much else. I'm having to make the decision to go back to work.
This is something I DO NOT want to do. This is something I'm going to HAVE to do until Deric and I can get back on our feet again. For the past month I've been racking my brain, posting ads, searching ads, to find something that would give us enough money. A couple of friends have talked to me about watching their baby, but it just wouldn't pay enough.
One night when I was really low, stressing about all this stuff, I found an ad on CCV's postings. This had was titled: Share a classroom. This lady was looking for someone to work part-time with her teaching kindergarten.
So I emailed her. Come to find out she's a Christian, actually knows a couple of people from our church, and was losing hope herself in finding someone to work with. I've been talking with her this week and we have been emailing back and forth.
The school is in the Glendale School district and I'd actually be bringing home what I made working full-time. (So it would pay enough!) It's a Title 1 school, mostly Hispanic, but the classroom is fully English speaking. I'd be working this cycle: 2 days one week, then 3 days the next, etc. We know someone that would be able to watch Sophi.
Here's my stress: It's a new school, different environment. I question if I'm a good enough teacher. I know, even though it's hard to admit, that I've let my brain become lazy. Granted all this baby stuff is stimulating it, but I'm not learning or challenging myself as much as I used to. I ask myself, "Am I trying to use Sophi as an excuse not to work because I'm scared?"
Secondly, thinking of leaving Sophi just makes me sick to my stomach. I know she'll be fine and it's not every day. But I never saw myself as a working mom. One of my friends, who I used to work with and works part-time now, says she loves it. Some days she says she needs a break from her kid and needs adult interaction.
So I need to make my decision by Monday. I'll take any input you can offer, any prayers you want to send my way. I either take this job, or pray something else will come along.

Here's a quick Sophi update:
She weighs 10lbs 7oz. We were in the dr. again b/c she was vomiting like when she had her ear infection. She does have a red throat, so just a viral thing. The nurse said the symptoms are the same as an ear infection, so at least we know it's not her ears.
Being with her yesterday really made me NOT to want to take the job. My poor baby really didn't feel good. :(